What Not to Write on a Resume: Statements to Avoid for a Successful Career

Writing a resume can be harder than someone thinks, in the effort to show our best qualities, or sometimes just trying to make them up, can be easy to make overstatements or use the wrong phrasing and damage our image

Here are some common mistakes that are better be avoided when submitting a resume, or simply inquiring about a job. 
So for a better chance to give a good impression never write things like:

– I have just completed my MBA and my strong desire is to become a manager with the capital A.

– I have localized your ad on the local paper.

– Attached to this letter of presentation, you will find my resume and my mug shot.

– If now you are not hiring, I would like my resume to be infiltrated in your Human Resources database.

– In reply to your ad, I would like to point out that I have a truckload of experience.

– You can consider me as vacant since I am about to resign from my current employer.

– I hope I am still in time to submit my resume; I am inquiring about the ad you posted 6 weeks ago.

– I have heard the rumor of a possible position with your company.

– I am a spicy sales man with a kick.

– Attached is a brief, but clear circumnavigation of my previous experiences.

– I have read your ad and found it incredibly tasty.

– I am a certified accountant, so is my wife and my four children; for a total of six accountants.

– My father’s cousin’s husband from my father’s grandfather side told me about your ad.

– And here comes the juiciest part of my resume…

– I am replying about your bilingual position ad; I am both mother and father tongue German.

– I do not have previous experience of working under pressure, but I once participated at the “Wheel of Fortune”.

– I am available for consulting or collaboration on free-lunch bases.

– I am ready to start from the bottom, but if I have to be honest, I rather not to.

– If, for whatever reason, you will find my resume unfitted for the position, I would be happy to provide a different one.

– I have an immaculate record, almost new.

When talking about you and your hobbies, avoid statements like:

– As a hobby, I play in a rock band as a substitute.

– I like the beaches, walking on the ocean really relaxes me.

– I have two small children age 28 and 35 and taking care of them takes most of my spare time.

– I am in fairly good shape but I could even improve with a transplant and five minor surgeries.

– Most of my favorite activities are illegal.

– I don’t talk to strangers about my private life.

– In my spare time, I’m hardly ever sober so I can’t really tell what I do.

Avoid making these statements, and your chances of being hired will certainly improve, with this said, best of luck!!…

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Writer Gets Seven Million Dollar Windfall!

I Just Got an Email

Don’t expect to see me online for a while since I will be driving my new RV to the home I purchased in California.

Yes, it is true. I have come into quite a bit of money recently. Dr. Sabo Rabo of the Bank of Africa has found several abandoned bank accounts, and one of them is worth $7million. Because we are such good friends, he wants to work with me to get that money. I haven’t waited for his response back to start buying those luxury items, like the mansion in California. I sent him all my bank information and my address and social security number, so I should be all set to go.

What is that you say? You don’t think it is real? But it has to be. He sent me a copy of his employee identification, with his picture on it! It must be real if I have his picture. It’s not like the other ones that I have received where a barrister in England wants to break the law and make me a beneficiary of the massive estate of one of his clients that didn’t have a will. I knew that one couldn’t be true, first there was no picture, but also any good money-sucking attorney would have charged a client for a will while the client was alive. Better yet, he would have put in a trust.

It isn’t like the letter I got about the International lottery where I won, even though I never bought a ticket. I still haven’t figured out how that worked. I wrote and asked, but no one ever sent me anything back.

It really isn’t like the plea for help. I was afraid to help that poor woman out that wanted to sneak her husband’s money from the country. It sounded way too scary to get involved in international affairs. I am after all just a humble writer and do not know Jiu-jitsu, Taekwondo or anything else involving the oriental art of self-defense.

I was certain that the IRS hadn’t really written me about the huge tax refund that I forgot to send for, since I would remember something like that. I haven’t moved in years and daily check out the site to find lost money. (I still have found none. I wonder if they would know what purse I left that $20 in?) I did wonder about that since the word you in the letter was spelled U. I don’t think the IRS gets cutesy about anything.

I felt badly that I couldn’t help that young man out that wanted me to retrieve his money so that his greedy uncles wouldn’t take it. I was going to be busy that week and it seemed like it would take a lot longer than the few minutes I had.

This letter was real. It even had a place for me to click to send my information. So, I’m waiting for the money to be transferred into my checking account as we speak. NOT!

Are you tired of getting the ridiculous, poorly worded and spelled letters about the fortunes that you will receive if you help someone pull off a scam to extract money, have won a lottery you never bought a ticket to, or just are helping a poor widow that somehow got your name and knew she could trust you?

Once I sent something back. I took the last name from the movie, “Meet the Fockers” and used the first name of Modder. After it was sent I decided that perhaps sending my email address back was not a good idea. I have received a multitude of mail since.

There is no one to complain to about the ridiculous emails that we receive. I guess the only thing to do is write an article about it and plan for the luxury item that I will purchase from the sale of the article.…

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Starting a Writing Business with Little or No Money

Have you ever thought about starting your own writing business due to your absolute love of the craft yet you have no idea how to get started? Well, in this article you will learn that you don’t need much money, if any, in order to build a lucrative writing business that will keep clients coming back to you again and again.

Evaluate Your Skills

First of all, in order to run a successful writing business, you need to ask yourself, “Do I really have writing talent?” Many aspiring writers greatly enjoy the craft, but unfortunately some of them have writing skills that require a great deal of improvement before they can even consider writing professionally. If you pursue a writing career with second-rate writing skills, then you will only attract second-rate clients-if any at all.

It’s not difficult to improve writing skills. Perhaps a grammar or creative writing class would be a good idea. Another surefire way to become a pro at writing is to spend lots of time reading and writing. Read often, especially in the field that you’re interested in writing in. This is done, not to steal others’ ideas and commit plagiarism, but for encouragement and motivation. Constantly seeing how well others write usually makes writers to start to think, “Hey, I can write this well or even better.” Writing regularly gives you the opportunity to practice and perfect your skills. The old saying ‘practice makes perfect’ is certainly true when it come to writing.

The Wonders of Craigslist.com

Another thing to consider when starting a writing business is how you plan to advertise. Many writers just starting their careers are often penniless, meaning that they have little or no funds to put toward advertising. How can you attract a steady flow of clients who need items written? Well, one especially helpful website is Craigslist.com. Craigslist.com is a free community where people from all over the world go to buy, trade and sell items. Almost anything that you’re interested in can be found on this vast site, and in your case, clients for your writing business is what is desired. Clients can definitely be found on this site. You have the option of responding to others’ ads for assistance with projects or you can even place your own ad advertising your services.

The Wonders of Having a Website

With the advancements of the Internet, more and more people are using their computers to conduct business. If you’re going to have a successful writing business, having a website is a must. A website will allow you to easily display your talents all on one site. You can provide links to your work that may be on other websites, display projects you’ve completed for former clients and impress perspective clients by showing them exactly why you would be the best candidate to complete their project(s). Their are many free or low cost webhosting and step-by-step instructions on building a professional website.

Forums, forums and more forums

Forums are a great way to find new clientele for your writing business. Visiting the right forums is the key, as there are many business owner’s looking for writers to write articles, press releases, website descriptions, and much more. Some great forums to visit in order to find new clients are: http://forums.digitalpoint.com/ and http://www.sitepoint.com/forums/. These sites have massive amounts of traffic and you can advertise your business by posting on the forums and incorporating a link to your business website into your signature or you can respond to other’s requests for writers. Sitepoint forums will even allow you to pay a nominal fee to advertise in their forum.

So, if your dream is to make a living as a professional writer, as long as you follow the above steps, you can make that dream become a reality in no time. Pretty soon you will be swamped with so much work that you may even have to hire other writers to work for you.…

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Assets – Liabilities = Net Worth

It’s a very basic accounting equation. Take what you have, subtract what you owe and see what’s left. In this human world, where money seems to be so vitally important, my fiscal worth is floating in the negative realm. Basically, I owe more in debt than I can repay with the assets I currently have.

But in the spiritual world, the world that lasts for infinity, it is comforting to know that here; at least, my worth is and will stay on the positive side. This is because of the actions taken by God’s greatest gift, Jesus Christ, when He died on the cross for me.

You see, when we are born in this sin-cursed earth, we are born owing more than we can ever repay. The debt I speak of is sin. Sin enslaved us to a lifetime of begging for forgiveness from our most Holy God. In the time before Christ was born, the people were obligated to provide an animal sacrifice every year to cover the sins that they had surely committed. It had to be an animal sacrifice because only the shedding of innocent and pure blood would cancel sin’s debt.

But when Christ came to this earth and shed His blood on the cross, His blood sacrifice was sufficient to cover the sins of every person on the entire planet from that moment forward. Animal sacrifice was no longer required because God saw to it that we could be free from the indebtedness of sin through His son’s ultimate sacrifice. All we have to do is accept this gift.

When I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, believing that He died on the cross for me; Jesus took my sin debts and wrote on them in His shed blood “PAID IN FULL.”

In this world, we will have troubles and pain, the vast majority of which come at our own hand. The fiscal indebtedness that I now have comes from my poor choices early on. Because of these choices, I am forced to work to try to repay a debt that I owe; a debt of my own making. However, this earthly home is temporary and finite. The real debt that matters is the one that will bind us to eternal condemnation. No matter how hard you try, how much work that you do or how good you try to be, this sin debt cannot be paid by human hands.

Christ paid this debt that He did not owe so that you and I could be free. As you ponder balancing your earthly equation, don’t neglect the one that matters most.

Having Christ in your asset column will insure that you always have a positive outcome!…

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A-Z of the New World Order

All around me
Breaking points are reached
Catastrophe abounds
Death only imminent
Everything changes
For the common good
Government tells us
Highly disturbing
Insecurity prominent
Justice not just
Kind words grow obsolete
Lying becomes rampant
Malevolence spreads
Needless
Opinions
Prey upon the innocent
Quarantined from our own ideas
Rising against but
Struggling
Total oppression
Unfair
Vanity causes swell heads
Without the
X-generation
You have
Zero…

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An Imagination

I stare at you

and sculpt your face

inside of my head

to not be erased.

I draw each feature

inside of my mind,

from dimples to nose

complementing your eyes.

Your hair is amazing.

It bounces and sways

grabbing my attention

as you look my way.

The way that you move

is humble and cute,

and when you turn

the world does too.

Your smile is a piece

of valuable work

that has its place,

significant to Earth.

Your voice has a sound

that warms me up,

charges my battery,

and lights my bulb.

Your legs are elegant

however they move

from the thighs to the calves

every bone, every groove.

May your feet take you

to my location.

May you be more

than an imagination.…

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Why Hollywood Should Remake “West Side Story”

We’ve all seen the original West Side Story, filmed in 1961,starring Natalie Wood as a not-quite-convincing Latina Maria. One glance at the oldie tells why this movie is begging for a remake. It is outdated and corny. The street battles between the Jets and the Sharks, the white kids against the Puerto Ricans, are no longer relevant to our time. But the prejudice and discrimination are all-too-current topics.The iconic songs with music by Leonard Bernstein and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim have become American classics. And the Romeo and Juliet-type love story will never go out of style.

 

My suggestion for a redo is to make the story current by spotlighting ethnic tension between young white Americans and Mexican immigrants. Maria could be played by Demi Lovato, who in actuality is a dark beauty of mixed Mexican, Italian and Irish descent. Lovato is an experienced singer-actress who might give the role a needed shot of relevancy to a new audience.

Around the World in Eighty Days is another oldie, but goodie. In the original 1955 film David Niven plays the suave Englishman who bets the fellows at his London club that he can circumnavigate the world in 80 days. He also happens to be on the lam for a bank robbery and is being pursued in his around-the-world-travels. This is a clever story that should be remade in 3-D. Those breathtaking balloon trips would be even more breathtaking to 3-D viewers. And the scenery! Paris in 3-D? A trip over the Eiffel Tower? Charging elephants in 3-D? See what I mean? Perfect. This remake should be handled by none-other than Disney.

Another movie begging for a redo is Phantom of the Opera. The blockbuster Broadway musical which continues to set new records for attendance, was made into a so-so movie in 2004. Actually the film verson was a bit of a snooze.

The creepy antics of the phantom and that crashing chandelier are just calling out for 3-D treatment! Director Tim Burton could give this update the right amount of creepiness it demands. The beautiful heroine Christine needs an updating by a popular young star that would give the tale some freshness. My vote for this role is Taylor Swift. She’s young and popular. She’s beautiful and she can sing. Taylor Swift might give the role credibility as the talented beauty who drives a bedeviled creature to obsession. How’s that for a great box-office draw?…

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BP Oil Spill

 

What price to pay for spilled drops of black gold
When one tragic kick makes a rig explode,
Leaving a swath of raw crude oil unsold
As earth’s jarred bow’ls violently implode.
Failed equipment did make them lose favor
As the cataclysmic monster spewed plumes,
And made entire ecosystem quaver —
Coastal residents left choking from fumes.
Now the toxic black sludge is mostly gone;
Damage it wrought will long be remembered,
Though long-term effects remain yet unknown ‘”
Billions on the table because they erred.
Let lessons learned be springboard to rebirth,
As we protect and revere Mother Earth!

 
 …

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NBA Playoff Schedule All Set in the East

The NBA playoff schedule 2011 won’t be official until tomorrow night. Yet while the exact schedule isn’t set for the playoff teams in the East, they now all know who they’re facing. Most of the postseason picture is already set, as every division title, top seed and berth was locked up days ago. Now all that’s left is to set the official matchups; the East got a head start, yet the West still has work to do.

The Bulls and Pacers have been locked into the 1-8 matchup for days, with the Magic and Hawks settled in the 4-5 battle. The only suspense left was whether the Heat or Celtics would get the No. 2 slot, and whether the Sixers or Knicks would be No. 6. Yet Miami all but locked up the No. 2 spot by beating Boston Sunday, then sealed the deal last night.

The Heat kept up its momentum by beating the Hawks on the road to clinch at least a tie for the second seed. Meanwhile, the Celtics had bigger things to worry about, as they rested their stars against the Wizards. It looked like it would pay off at first, but Washington’s starters finally defeated Boston’s backups in overtime.

This officially gave Miami the No. 2 position, and home court if they face Boston in round two. But they have to start their schedule in round one, and their first playoff opponent was also determined last night for good measure. Their in-state rivals actually helped them out there, as the Magic defeated the struggling Sixers.

The Sixers’ defeat dropped them into the seventh slot for good after they held the No. 6 position for a few weeks. Now Philadelphia has to face Miami, while Boston is facing a sure-to-be heavily hyped series with New York.

Although one side of the NBA postseason bracket is completely settled, the other side is still in flux. In the West, the top-seeded Spurs and the fifth-seeded Nuggets are the only teams to have their position set. Thanks to a late Lakers slide, Los Angeles is now in danger of being third or fourth, and slipped into third when the Mavericks won last night.

However, the Lakers still hold a tiebreaker over the Mavericks and Thunder, and still just need to win out for the No. 2 position. Meanwhile, the Trail Blazers, Grizzlies and Hornets are fighting over the sixth, seventh and eighth slots in a “pick your poison” proposition.

But the Western Conference holds the only intrigue left in the regular season, as the playoff schedule in the East is pretty much in place. Yet although the Eastern matchups are set, they won’t get the times and dates of their games until tomorrow night, like every other postseason team.…

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Five Ways Hollywood Wives Deal with Cheating Husbands

Tabloids just wouldn’t be tabloids if they didn’t focus on the sloppy love lives of the celebrities therein. With the stinky divorces of both Cynthia Rodriguez and Christie Brinkley, dirty laundry is being aired; and all sorts of surprises are coming out of the woodwork where both cases are concerned. The notion of the scorned Hollywood wife is quite a long-standing one. Where in the past these affairs were kept somewhat hush-hush, today’s media dives head first into all the messy details, sometimes embellishing them as the stories unfold. While infidelity is painful for anyone on the receiving end, it can be particularly excruciating when the entire world decides to shine light upon the seedier aspects of the situation. But there are two things that most scorned Hollywood wives don’t have in common with the rest of the population: fame and fortune. And with those two things comes a whole new multitude of ways of dealing with philandering husbands. Here are a few…

 

Botox

When the flower of romance begins to wilt, some Hollywood husbands go searching for some other “flower” to pollenate. That being said, the wives are often left wondering how they compare to their husbands’ new paramours. Discovering that Mr. Hollywood Actor #944’s attentions have turned to the nanny (or some other trollop) will send a Hollywood housewife straight to the local drive-thru Botox clinic. Yes, getting Botox is now just about as simple as ordering a value meal at McDonald’s, which is great for women who need an instant pick-me-up. Ironically, having a perpetually surprised expression is about as good for the soul as a new pair of silicone “chest bumpers.” And as the saying goes: when the going gets tough, the tough (skin) gets Botox.

The “Gardener”

Revenge is always sweeter when it’s a private (or sometimes not so private) one. Wives hoping to seek vengeance for their philandering husbands’ ways will sometimes do so with the household gardener. But you may certainly insert any member of Hollywood’s posh staff of personnel in this position (no pun intended.) The poolboy, personal trainer, or even the dog groomer will do just fine. For many celebrity wives, getting even is the best personal justice of all—just as long as said “serviceman” has bulging biceps and an aversion to the paparazzi.

Robertson Boulevard

If you are a female Hollywood celebrity who wants to be seen, then all it requires is a quick jaunt to Robertson Boulevard. For those of you who have no clue what significance this street has, it can be explained in one word: shopping. The boutiques and stores (especially celebrity mill, Kitson) lining this infamous street are literally crawling with celebs and paparazzi all clamoring for equal attention. But where scorned wives are concerned, the retail therapy involved on this street is major. The more dalliances the hubbies engage in, the deeper the shopping excursions. Capitalism at its finest? Or the law of supply and demand? Tthe mistress supplies hubby’s entertainment, and wife demands his credit card.

“Medicine”

Sometimes plunking down loads of cash for smooth foreheads and Gucci bags just isn’t sufficient to heal the woes caused by Hollywood infidelity. This is when self-medication comes into play. In the City of Angels, shots of Botox are followed up with Xanax, Percoset, Valium, Zoloft, or any other drugs advertised in between the photo spreads in Cosmopolitan magazine. Unfortunately, some women need a little extra boost for their moody blues. Cheating husbands have their vices too (obviously.) But there is nothing more spectacular than a wigged-out, well-dressed Hollywood wife who has Vodka for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and Valium for dinner.

Divorce

Cynthia Rodriguez, Christie Brinkley, and a host of other wives have proven that one of the most popular remedies for dealing with philandering husbands is divorce. These kinds of divorces are often nothing more than huge financial agreements, with the kids sometimes being treated like pieces of property instead of people. It isn’t always the best option, nor the friendliest. In fact, Hollywood romances often have more attention drawn to them when the marriages end. Still, there is no other foolproof method for getting a husband to stop cheating …

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