It took me many years to realize how successful my ADHD/Asperger’s son really is. We measured Clark by the yardsticks we had been measured by. Did he make A’s? Was he a good athlete? Was he a popular friend? By all those measures, our son, who we dubbed early on “Clark Kent the Wonder Kid,” failed. Each year of elementary school, he did worse against this criterion. In middle school the downward slope of his performance grid fell off at a steeper angle.

To read the rest of my latest contribution to Special-Isms, click here.



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14 Responses to Redefining Success For A Special Needs’ Child

  1. I love this. I have a son who teachers say is brilliant but doesn’t want to do homework. He’s the nicest teen. The greatest sense of humor. A good worker in other areas – and, as a parent, it is soooo frustrating.I needed to read this:)

    • Pamela says:

      Thank you. It is hard sometimes not to “follow” on this issue. It almost takes daily reminders: what child am I trying to raise? What do I hope for him? What is it that makes him unique? Isn’t his happiness the biggest success of all? YES, Pamela, Yes. :)

  2. Eric says:

    You have been PINNED WOOOO HOOOOO

  3. Teresita says:

    Love it! Every body deserves to be happy. And we’re all different. Love your positive vibes. Keep it up. :)

  4. I wasn’t able to post on the site. This was excellent and that advice could apply to all our relationships! I really liked that article! Does that “pin” mean you guys are going steady now?

    • Pamela says:

      :) Yes, it COULD. Focus on the positive, see the positive, believe the positive.

      Pinned — yeah, Eric and I are finally official. But in this case, pinned means someone pinned it to their board on Pinterest.

  5. It really take nerves to handle kids. My son is very shy takes lot of time to mingle with others but his teachers say that he is good at doing his work and behaves well in the class. I still wonder where I am lacking behind to remove all his fears make him little bold to face the world.

  6. I could see myself trying the same thing — trying to get my kid to fit in and measuring him against “normal” standards. I was happy to read that he loves being himself and doesn’t care what others think. Happy to read that you’ve redefined success for him too. He sounds like a wonderful, special boy.

  7. Jake says:

    Loved your article. This is beautiful, real, always helpful to hear… thank you.

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