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Pamela Fagan Hutchins | Waffling.

My nearly-fifteen year old daughter Susanne has never had a boyfriend. Well, she hasn’t if you don’t count her year-long engagement in kindergarten to Nicholas Crouthamel. Or her rebound relationship in first grade with Jackson Gallegos. Since then, though, she has had no boyfriends.¬† She’s plenty boy-crazy and at 5’7″ with blue eyes and long blond hair she is totally gorgeous (and wears a bigger bra size than me, WTF), but she’s saving her heart for Tim Tebow.

Or so we thought.

Recently we were staying at a Red Roof Inn on the outskirts of San Antonio. Based on the horse trailers and Chevy trucks, most of the other guests were cowboys, or something like it. Susanne’s fallback position if the whole Tim Tebow thing doesn’t pan out is to marry a World Champion Rodeo Cowboy. Runner-up will do if he has the biggest truck.

Susanne preceded me into the lobby one morning for the free breakfast. Just as she sashayed in the door, a booted, scruffy young man of the presumed cowboy variety was making his exit. He had a good ten years on her, but that didn’t dim the gleam in his eyes that glinted off his ginormous belt buckle. I locked him in my mama-death glare as I stepped quickly in behind my little filly.

Meanwhile, Susanne’s eyes had lit up, too. Oh no, I thought, ready to move between the smitten cowboy and my seriously-underage daughter. The words, “Put your tongue back in your mouth and step away from the adolescent,” were forming on my lips, when Suz turned to me.

She¬†whispered excitedly, “They’ve got those waffle makers shaped like Texas!!” And then, because she is my daughter after all, she bolted for the food bar.

Looks like Tim Tebow is safe for now. But I’d better warn him never to get between her and breakfast.

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36 Responses to Waffling.

  1. Terri Swain via Facebook says:


  2. You have such a great way of putting your life moments together in a post. Another fantastic one, Pamela and thanks for bringing me into another funny and cool family story. I hope as Kassi gets older she is more interested in Texas shaped waffles than cowboys.


  3. She has announced she wants to go to every single night of rodeo this year. I’m not sure if it’s the Texas-shaped waffles this time.

  4. I am sooooo glad she has her priorities straight!!! You need sign language for “jail bait” – so the next time you’re unsure – just give him the sign!!! LOL

  5. You make me laugh and boy I needed a laugh today. I’ve stayed in hotels with waffle makers but not one the shape of Texas. Today my daughter got whistled at on our bike ride, I think the high school kid though he knew her.

  6. Ally says:

    Whether she wanted you to tell it or not, that is an awesome story. At least from a parent’s point of view! :)

    • Pamela says:

      Exactly :) And she discovered the story in my feed, and, altho at first she pretended she hadn’t, she’d even read it. Which cracked us up because she tries to pretend she is oblivious to anything I do. She noted that I have now written about her twice in 2012 so I’ve reached my limit. Methinks she doth protest too much.

  7. Pamela,
    Obviously she has no idea how gorgeous she is.

    I love that in a girl.

    Suuuuperb Story.

    Brilliant. Visual. Unexpected.


  8. Susie says:

    Susanne still has her priorities in order. Great story.

  9. I recognize that gleam. A few weeks at my daughter’s tumbling class a high school boy was “checking” her out. Going so far as to ask her if she was a sophomore (she is in 6th grade). It took everything I had to not grab him and shake him. She of course was oblivious!

    Those girls who are so in tune with the opposite sex scare the you know what out of me!

    Sounds like your daughter is still in a good place.

    • Pamela says:

      Men are wired to be aggressive, but I wish they weren’t wired to go after girls so young. We fought this for years with our middle daughter. She’s 18 now. Maybe they’ll start leaving her alone!

  10. Eric says:

    It is funny, and scary to watch her teetering on the edge, at one moment every guy is so cute and Ryan Reynolds is her screen saver, and the next she is completely oblivious. As we watch ours grow up we have always kinda thought that Samantha would end up this ass kicking tough girl that the boys would not push around, but,,,, there is also a tender side that worries me about her, a trust and innocence, that gives you a knot in your stomach because the real world is so far from what you would want for her….
    We laughed like crazy as you told and re told this story to get it right before typing it in. It was very very funny.

    • Pamela says:

      Yeah, she’s a closet romantic, and completely nonassertive about boys. But yet emotionally, with friends and family, she’s very tough. I wish her joy. I hate watching any of them hurt (the kids). For now, she’s safe with her waffles :)

  11. Ann says:

    Still laughing. My fifteen year old has her first boyfriend. The good news is he goes to a high school across town so she sees him once a month or so. That works just fine for this mama.

  12. Danny Johnson says:

    Ask Suz if a rodeo clown could possibly take 3rd position, I know one who could cook a mean breakfast!

  13. Julie says:

    Such an adorable story, but if I was you, I won’t think that it was nothing. Maybe she recognized your reaction on your face and changed her thoughts, and decided to talk about the waffles. At the age of 15, I used to fall in love every day:)

  14. Sandy Webb says:

    How funny! I have a soft spot in my heart for the cowboy type also. Ok, so I won’t even look twice at a guy if he doesn’t drive a truck at least the size of mine (F350 dually).

  15. Jennifer says:

    I love your writing so very much. Susanne sounds amazing.

  16. Catwoman says:

    Your daughter has got a really good taste, cowboys are the sexiest men on earth, I’ve married one as well:)

  17. LOL! You’re lucky you weren’t my mom, because I would have been all over the cowboy!

  18. WHAT?????? No pictures of the waffle maker? Didn’t you have your cell phone with you? How can you do this to me – I would have loved to have seen that!! For me, I had no idea I was marrying a cowboy until after we married, the sneaky pete.

  19. […] was after she’d eaten the rest of the shrimp and grits, licked the serving spoon, and poured herself the rest of the Fre (alcohol-free) champagne without asking whether her beloved […]

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