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Pamela Fagan Hutchins | Happy F*&%’in Birthday

Eric spent his birthday in a refinery in Mumbai this year, but the workers got him this cake. Awesome sauce.

Forty-eight years ago my wonderful in-laws Gene and Sue brought their third son into the world on St. Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands.  They raised him in the sand, sun, and surf, with summers in Maine on Lake Mooselookmeguntic.  He learned from them the honor in hard work.  He became a fearless risk taker like his father.  A man impervious to pain.  Loyal to a fault to those who loved him in the fierce way he loved them.

Inside the tough kid whose hair was a little too long, the young man who didn’t follow anyone else’s rules, the one who didn’t wear shoes to school his entire 8th grade year, was the soul of a true romantic.  A song writer.  A musician.  A guy who believed.

A guy who hates birthdays.  His own birthday, anyway.


How can a dewy-eyed romantic hate birthdays?  That’s just wrong.

But alas, it is true.  Eric hates his birthday.  In fact, right now, he wants to kill me so badly that it’s choking him, I promise.  If you asked him, he would tell you that the best present I could give him for his birthday would be to pretend it never happened.

I want to make him happy.  I do.  But I can’t quit celebrating the simple fact of his existence, on this earth and in my life.

Sorry, honey.

Larry and Beth, thank you for Eric.  Thank you for the gift of this complex, difficult-at-times, beautiful man.   I’m so glad he didn’t turn out to be the sweet little girl I’m sure you hoped for after two boys.

Eric, I love you, and you know you’ll forgive me, so let’s just skip the killing me part, OK?  And Happy F*&%’in birthday!

In celebration of Eric, here’s my “best of” posts starring the birthday boy: The perennial favorite, Eric and his cardinals.  May God bless their little (dead) souls. As I wrote this one, tears ran down my cheeks, and I may have tinkled just a little.  I love Bubba-mon. Honeymoon in Montana.  Where it is seriously cold.  And my attitude sucked. true.  I swear. Where Eric loses his mind, daily.  Click through to part two if you dare. In which my mother gets in on the fun. AKA “Directionally Challenged Bicyclist Lost in Houston.” With links to all of the horribly embarrassing tush posts! Now this is what I call parenting.

Enjoy.  If you can’t find something to laugh about in those, then you ain’t got no sense of humor.

Y’all be sure to give him a birthday shout out, either in the comments, on Twitter (@trimon29), or on Facebook.


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30 Responses to Happy F*&%’in Birthday

  1. Happy Birthday, big guy. I know you’re going to be treated like the King you are……enjoy it.


    • Pamela says:

      He’s off to a great start. All 3 still-at-home kids smiled and were happy for his b-day dinner, and to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4, which was great. Off for a long bike ride in Burton tomorrow. Life is good. Hope Belize is wonderful.

  2. Happy Birthday Handsome!

  3. Sandy Webb says:

    HAPPY FREAKIN BIRTHDAY ERIC!!!! I hate to celebrate mine too so I feel your pain. I do hope you have a wonderful one though.

  4. Eric Hutchins says:

    Thank You Pamela, for not giving up, for continuing to work on me :). For reminding me that my birthday is not a marker of things I have not accomplish but instead to be grateful for one more year, one more day, one more hour. To look forward and not back, to see the colors and not the dark. I know in my heart that these days are gifts to be cherished, and times that I forget that, I foolishly wasting that gift.

    I am grateful.

  5. Heidi Dorey says:

    Happy Birthday!
    I think that pic of him looks great, BTW.

    I love b-days myself…we make it last for weeks.
    What’s wonderful about birthdays is
    that it’s all about the love of you.

  6. Ally says:

    Awww, Happy Birthday to Eric! How lucky you are to balance each other out – even on things like birthdays! Enjoy :)

  7. gene says:

    what? no shoes? “daddy needs a new pair of shoes!”
    i love Eric, too. not in THAT way, but in the way he loves you, loves his family, and hates birthdays. i don’t like them, either. bah.

  8. ridgely says:

    Happy Birthday Eric– cheer up Pamela could have put a pic up of you in your Birthday Suit! happy day

  9. Irene says:

    I’m with Eric.

    I despise my birthday. I get stomach aches when it approaches. It’s a day I’d rather just skip, go from the 6th to the 8th.

    So since I completely relate to Eric, I’m not going to wish him a Happy Birthday.
    I have to go murder a million tad poles now.

    • Pamela says:

      Two peas in a pod :)
      I hate to “out” him but he told me yesterday was the best birthday he has ever had, and he was in a good mood and happy all day.
      Now, leading up to it he was a little bipolar
      But, “day of”, he embraced the concept of being loved and feted
      Yay Eric!

  10. Eric Hutchins says:

    I love Irene!

  11. Happy Birthday to your guy!! This is where you two can balance each other out, right? He hates to celbrate and you show him a little joy in it. Hooray that he was born! And has added so much to your life:) And even to people who have never met him but find his fitness/well being information very useful.

  12. JennyBean says:

    Happy birthday dammit!

  13. LBDDiaries says:

    I’m late to the party but happy belated birthday! Pamela, he isn’t the only one – Leland is the same – growling about birthday this and than but secretly, inside? He likes it. My family celebrated bd’s like crazy so he’s had to adjust. I mean, come-on – griping ’cause you get your fave cake and some neato presents????

  14. Pamela says:

    EXACTLY :)
    Fave cake, fave people, and neato presents. Yippee!

  15. SuzRocks says:

    Happy Birthday!!!! He’s so cute. And I’m sure he really loves being called ‘cute.’ Make that, ‘manly and handsome’. No, I’m totally not hitting on your husband.

    • Pamela says:

      LOL, you are becoming his dream girl, a writer/traveler/athlete.
      Wait, that’s me 😉

      He IS cute, and he puts up with being called it, mostly. Usually!

  16. Happy Birthday, Eric! I think you should forget not liking your birthday and celebrate the entire month.

  17. Terri Sonoda says:

    Happy Birthday Eric! Sending love from Vegas! Enjoy your special day. Just pretend it’s just any other day….only with yummy cake and lots of well wishers!

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